Month: February 2019

It has been such a long time since I’ve sat down and written freely on here – which is something I love to do. This time, it is with good reason.

I have recently dedicated myself to trying to be the best, healthiest, happiest and most fit version of myself. After viewing photos of myself at my brothers wedding, I was horrified at how fat I looked. This doesn’t even compare to how I felt about myself because of this. I had never been so depressed and upset with myself in my life. My doctor told me that my BMI was in the overweight range, my blood pressure was high, etc. I tried to hide this extra weight I’d accrued my senior year of college and when I moved to Philly, but there was nothing I could do.

At my brother’s wedding, I was surrounded by beautiful people. I worked with beautiful people. Other people’s beauty does not make me insecure. But it does remind you of what you are not, and what you used to be. Unfortunately, I didn’t do anything about it until I realized my health is one thing I am in control of. As a twenty three year old, I did not want to be as overweight as I was – which would only cause worse problems later on in life.

Making a change is hard. Really hard. You literally have to want to change so much, that it outweighs the alternative, which was staying the same, being sedentary and eating just about whatever the hell I wanted.

So – I went to a nutritionist. I wanted to be more aware of what things I should be putting in my body, and how much, when, etc. I was really nervous, especially being a picky eater with a history of bad habits, binge eating issues, etc.

I used to have IBS and couldn’t eat anything without immediately dealing with the consequences. Two years ago, my intestines twisted and I had to have emergency surgery. Boom. The year after my surgery, I gained 25 pounds in about 10 months. I literally had a party with my body – whatever I wanted, I let myself have. I was able to eat so many things that I hadn’t been able to before in higher quantities. I could tolerate anything, and it was so exciting. My anxiety about eating in public had vanished, and I was soaking it in.

Fortunately, I am a self-aware person, but unfortunately, I have a really hard time breaking bad habits. My weight definitely fluctuated in college, but it really skyrocketed and spiraled out of control after my surgery. I knew I had to make a change – but I was living in Philly and working a job I hated – about 55 hours a week. I didn’t eat on any type of consistent schedule – and working with over 80 millennials meant there was always cake, cookies, dessert etc. in the kitchen. I couldn’t say no.

So around June, I had enough. I was so ashamed and embarrassed of my body and what I’d let happen to myself, I committed to making a change. I saw a nutritionist and learned how to eat to achieve my goals. The best part is that it’s not a diet, and there is nothing I “can’t” have. I learned what a real serving is and how different it is from an industry, restaurant, advertised serving. It blew my mind. Because I was eating so bad prior – and I made and committed to such a new way of eating – I lost about 20 pounds in 3 months. I know what you’re thinking – “that doesn’t sound healthy.” But, in this case, it was. most of it was pure fat.

I truly cannot imagine going back to the way I was before this. I was so out of control with my habits. There is no better feeling than going from a 10 in pants size, to a 2. I have never committed to a habit so much as I have to this one, but I am so happy that I did. For me, the best feeling is knowing that I gained the control back in my life, and I will never let it go again.

It’s never too late to change something that you don’t like about yourself. So much good came from this one decision to make a change.

“The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”